Mementos may be particularly useful in remembering your baby or pregnancy.
While memories may be painful at times, they can also be a source of comfort and may assist you in coping with your pregnancy or newborn loss. Many parents have shared with us that creating some special way to remember or honor their baby was very helpful. Some have found it helpful to involve grandparents, children and other family members and friends in choosing mementos.
The following are some suggestions for creating mementos after a pregnancy or newborn loss for those who find this comforting. Use these ideas as possibilities, not instructions of what you should do. Parents often find it helpful to construct their own special, individualized ways of remembering their unique loss.
- Make a memory book or scrap book with items such as the crib card, arm band, certificate of birth or blessing, footprints, ultrasound picture, lock of hair and cards you received from friends and loved ones.
- Have a memory box, basket or chest. This might contain the hospital blanket, shirt or cap or any items you had purchased for your baby.
- Make a memory journal in which you write your thoughts about what you had anticipated with your pregnancy, how you feel about your loss and what you would want your baby to know. You might include poems, drawings done by family members, or comments of staff, children, family members or friends who were with you during this loss. Additions to the journal may continue as long as you like.
- Attend a group memorial service or have an individual memorial service for your baby. Take a remembrance home from the service, such as a flower, bulletin, program or candle.
- Purchase a specific item that can symbolize your memory of your baby. Some examples include a piece of jewelry (such as a pin, ring, locket, birthstone or necklace) a candle, picture, holiday ornament or needlework.
- Plant a tree, bush or flower in your baby's honor.
- Donate flowers to your church or synagogue in remembrance of your baby.
- Make a donation in your baby's honor to a favorite charity, purchase books for a children's library or make a hospital contribution.